Another year is drawing to a close. It has been a rather interesting year. In addition to my professional commitments, I had a number of new experiences in 2011. I started to play an active role in industry forums, write a blog and speak more regularly. Happily, I also took more than my usual quota of vacations. Moreover, I turned 40, an interesting milestone in life. I thought this is a good time to reflect on what I learnt in 2011. I have distilled below five of the most important life lessons of the year for me. I am sharing these lessons as I feel these might be relevant for others as well.
- Health is king – In 2011, I broke my ankle playing volleyball, was diagnosed as having diabetes and continued to have high cholesterol. Moreover, I realized that my high energy levels I had always taken for granted seem to be waning. It was a wake up call that I had become very unfit. Over the past 15 years I have worked hard on most aspects of my professional and personal life, the one aspect that has taken a back seat has been my health. This resulted in a fit sportsperson like me becoming out of shape and unhealthy. As I turned 40, I realized that this is the time to commit myself to improving my health and fitness. I have to make time for this and put this high on the priority list. It will require finding more balance and discipline in my lifestyle. If I don’t, I will not be able to enjoy the life I have worked so hard to build.
- Friends are forever – This year I went on a road trip with some of my closest friends from engineering college, had the 15th year reunion of my MBA batch and had many friends across years join for my 40th birthday. It reaffirmed that there are few greater joys and gifts in life than true friends. They are wonderful stress busters. You don’t need pretences with them. You can let your hair down and be a child with them. You can have honest and deep conversations that can help put life in perspective. You can count on them for support when you need help. As you grow, you develop many contacts but finding true friends is difficult. The bonds you form when you are growing up together are perhaps the most natural, strongest and long lasting. These lifelong friendships are a precious gift. It is important to preserve, nurture and celebrate them continuously.
- Patience pays – 2011 had many interesting challenges for me including building roots in a new job, helping develop forums for industry collaboration and learning to write. I might not have aced all of these challenges but have certainly learnt that patience is the key to making progress on them. Many challenges seem insurmountable when you begin. You do not know where to start and might even feel like giving up. However, if you persist with constant purpose you start notching up some wins. And, eventually can reach a tipping point when tide starts turning in your favor. Many people are naturally skeptical of new ideas and people. Consistency of message and effort helps them see that you are for real and they then start responding more positively. Moreover, as you persist in your efforts you also sharpen your approach and start uncovering what might earlier be hidden. This further increases your chances of success. The Hare and Tortoise story is true. The Tortoise does win!!
- Don’t obsess about outcomes – We are living in an increasingly uncertain world. In particular, 2011 has seen huge uncertainty in the global economy and capital markets. If you are in a financial services business, it hits you even more. Moreover, the uncertainty is not just about the markets. As you move up the ranks and the situations you are involved in become more complex, you realize that all outcomes are not in your control. This can be difficult to take since many of us have grown up being trained to be very goal focused. Ambiguity or lack of predictability between effort and outcomes can cause a lot of stress. It is important to recognize that all you can try to control are your actions. You cannot control the outcomes so no point obsessing with them. The more you obsess with outcomes the more disturbed you are likely to be. Thus, best to focus just on actions without worrying about outcomes – “what will be will be”. Our ancient scriptures have stressed heavily on this concept of the ‘karmayogi’. This is very relevant for our times and we need to rediscover it. (See my blogpost on “Lessons from Mahabharata”)
- Subordinate your ego – Managing upwards or downwards is relatively easier than working with peers. As I have worked with senior colleagues both at work and in industry forums, I have better realized this challenge. Hierarchy and rules of engagement are often not well defined, and you have to work through influence and collaboration. In such situations, ego can be a big stumbling block. It is ego that makes us try to assert our self-importance, not listen and want to have the final word. This self-centeredness can be a cause of much conflict. It is important to discipline your ego to be able to collaborate and work effectively in teams. You need to train yourself to first understand rather than being in a rush to be understood, to listen rather than to speak. You need to learn to let go of your agenda and give space to others even if you believe you are right. This needs self-awareness and discipline. Harnessing one’s ego is one of the greatest personal challenges in life. However if you can subordinate it, you can avoid many problems and achieve better collaboration and harmony in relationships.
The above lessons are by no means definitive. These are based on my limited experiences and vantage point. I would very much appreciate your insights and perspectives.
Finally as 2011 draws to a close, it is time to be thankful for the year that is going and to look forward to 2012 with hope, positivity and good spirits. I hope the coming year brings the best of health, wealth and happiness for all of you.
All the best!!
